heart of wonder

during the summer i pretty much hand write. dont expect too much from me on tumblr. besides a few sentences and reblogs. bye

she’s a beautiful monster

i dont have motivation to post anything interesting. i have time though. plenty of it.

i just dont get some people in high school. more like almost all people in high school. i cant wait to graduate!

friday night i went to brandons with steve, catie and kayla. and i got a wittle drunk. it was fantabulous. came home at like 1:15 and went to bed. got the best sleep in a long ass time. saturday i went to brandons at like 1ish after waking up around 11:30 i think, and chilled with rob, his friend, his brother, ryan and carolyn. they bbq’ed but i chilled. ryan left at 3:30 for work and i fell asleep at brandons (lol) i woke up at 4:30, came home, went to the mall, came home around 9, showered and got ready and went to tj’s for his last partay before him and brooke leave for floridaaaaa. i didnt drink too much just has a mikes hard cause i had to drive. there was prolly like 15 people there, thats the usual though since we gotta pretty big group of friends. nick was missing though…hmmmmmmmm. anyway, i left around 1:30, came home and ryan got off exit 24 so obvvv i knew he was going to my house. he thinks he is soo damn tricky but i am ALWAYS a step ahead of him and he doesnt even realize it. It takes a pretty sly person to try and trick me, and sometimes hes sly & sometimes hes not. its funny nonetheless. he got to my house before obv and im like what are ya doin here? i was so tired i just wanted to pass out and its 2 am and im cold and tired and want to sleep and hes like “i just wanted to surprise you and kiss you goodnight”  as irritated as i was that this boy was just trying to be with me for longer because sometimes we both get clingy with eachother andd i wanted to sleep, i couldnt get THAT mad because who else would do that for me? or not just me but what guy would do that in general? oh yeah thats right no one but ryan. i was irritated at first to see his car in front of my house and i just thought in my head “what the fuck is he doin here i just want to go to bed right now” but then after he left and i went inside i thought it was kinda sweet. just another reason why i love him :)

today though i just bummed. i woke up at like 12 and went to forever 21 to try to return a shirt but they FUCKING SUCK. i dont care how nice or cheap their clothes are, they would be such a shitty company to work for. their return policy and damage policy just sucks. maybe they should take some lessons from bobs because their policy was really good. i still have everything memorized pretty much. except the new registers cause i never got a chance to use them :( but the closing announcements i could recite in my sleep. i could make a new tag with my eyes closed. i could do a charge send backwards. i miss it there. and im jealous that they are hiring 11 people. still dont understand why. anyway after i went all the way to the mall for nothing, i came home and watched this really good movie on lifetime called gracie’s choice. it was really sad but the ending was good. it was a short movie and it definetly could have had an extra half hour added to the end to make the ending even better. after it was over around 5, i cleaned my car for a little, put the floormats in and hardcore cleaned my trunk. took everything out and threw shit away and cleaned out my softball bag. just so i can prepare my trunk for the summer when its a beach day :)

so i totally didnt go to awards night tuesday….because i had tons of hw and why would i wanna watch all these people im not friends with get awards? oh well. i napped through it anyway i think. wednesday was sports night and that was a bore. yesterday was class night and that was pretty fun. i woke up at 6 and it started at 6, ha. a little late but not big deal. also i got my yearbook and had a party in english class hollllaaaaa! then i had my mertens final that took me about 2 hours but its pretty bangin. i forgot to do the biblio though so i have to email that by midnight tonight. today was senior picnic and it was awesome once the sun came out. i took sic pics and played volleyball and boccie and chilled by the pool and ate tons of fooood. it was pretty ballaaa. anyway i have a stress free weekend finally and no finals till wednesday and i only have one! monday im going to six flags with steve, jeremy and jamie :D hmmmm what to do tonight….

its so weird to read about 13 and 14 year olds that say they’ve been screwed over and cheated on and their lifes messed up & they’ve been on a lifelong rollercoaster, and they’ve been “played”. you’re in middle school, i didnt think all of that is really a huge deal. well to some extent it is i guess. but screwed over? come on. did your BFF ditch you to go to the mall? or steal your boyfriend that you only talk to on aim and smile at in math class? girls i think you need a reality check and not be so obsessed about making things bigger than they are. live it up you’re only young once and i guess you don’t really realize that till you’re about halfway through high school. dont hold on to stupid grudges and live with god awful regrets. i cant remember anyone complaining about those things in middle school…..its so weird to hear it because i dont even know that many people in high school that go through that..sheesh….middle school was like an amusement park for me. i made the best of friends and no one really had issues with one another. 7th and 8th grade were awesome.

i wish i was in high school next year for the sole purpose that my softball coach is quitting and we’re getting new uniforms. it would be a great season.

todays routine:

• job hunt
• homework
• sports night

your tits are saggy, and you look like a carrot. but a big one.

oh and you are a portuguese midget. your ugly, have no boobs, your nose looks like it got run over by a car, and dated a bisexual boy. i hope you get screwed over because its time you have a taste of your own medicine.

and you, should just lick the fucking floor because you’re maddd dirty. you dont date a girl for 5 months, tell her you love her and you’re so in love and blah blah blah, and then dump her 2 weeks later, and get back together, dump her again, and then go after her ex best friend. you can do so much better and you dont even realize it. its disgusting. i really liked you as a friend but now just talking to you makes me sick…or even looking at you….i think so much lower of you now because you dont know how to handle girls. just stay single or have a bromance with joeyy. just dont try to get with the portuguese midget because you wont get far. hopefully you both get screwed over because at this point you deserve it. its clear youre just trying to make people jealous but in essence its making you look like a fool. i dont get why some people still chill with you. i feel like all the good in you is gone. im never playing basketball or eating popsicles with you like we planned.

now im done being mean…for today

im doing homework that i should have done last week. i always listen to music while doing hw and have tried to this past week to do that but i just cant stay or even get focused. but now im listening to jimi hendrix and im completely focused. finally im getting shit done. thanks mr hendrix, i didnt know you could help so much.